He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
