The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
