I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
