I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
