ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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