i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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