I'm going to jail i love you
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
