And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
