i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
