i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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