I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
