David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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