that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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