): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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