Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the condom got lost in my hair
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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