what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
