I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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