How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
