Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize