I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize