woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
