Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I need to calm my uterus...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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