I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
