He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
