paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
