i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
