So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
