I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
