It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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