you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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