Define "chronic" masturbator.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize