Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
