so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
