If that was your dad, he is hot
dude i'm inner monologue high
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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