did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
