You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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