i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
