I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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