oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
