Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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