When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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