She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
