Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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