All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just sent this text using only my big toe
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This baby is an asshole
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
