so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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