The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
