Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
