I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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