I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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