So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My dick has a subreddit
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
