dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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