So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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