Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
