I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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