Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
