I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
