I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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