I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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