we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
