he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
