real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
