We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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